Chasing Creeks and the Infinite You

If you're new here, I'm David Kyle Choe. I write about becoming more myself and building my creative practice.

If you're enjoying my updates, I'd love if you'd share with a friend that might fw me (just link or fwd 😀). This year, I want to connect with more people who are building, failing, and thriving nonetheless.

For years I've been searching for a label. I craved being easily understood by those around me. Is David a founder? Entrepreneur? Strategist? Creative? Writer? Researcher? Husband? Freak?

What if I'm all of those things?

I can't cram all that into a 160 character Twitter bio.

It's been a huge source of anxiety and even shame for me. "How can you be the person who distills information for a living, and yet not even be able to distill yourself?"

This itch to figure it out and rewrite my Twitter bio often happens at turning points in my life. Moments when I shed an identity or gain one. Moments when I lack clarity or feel a lot of conviction. I want to package myself up with a pretty little bow and reintroduce myself to the world.

For the first time, I'm slowing down and asking myself, "why?"

Who benefits from understanding me in a simple, sterile, easy-to-grasp way?

My instinct is to say others. But when I peel it back, it's me who benefits.

The easier I can pitch myself, the easier the person on the other side could see how I could provide them value (or not).

In other words, the easier I was to understand, the easier it was to get paid.

My identity (or lack thereof) and the frustration that came with it have been tied to an outcome. No wonder it's been such a source of anxiety.

The truth is, I'm infinite. I'm entire worlds constantly colliding and blending and expanding. I can exist and thrive without dollars trading hands.

Without the pressure to commercialize myself, I'm free to be any number of things. I'm starting to see that it's in this freedom where clarity flourishes.

My creative practice looks weird. It's composed mostly of me chasing memories and rabbit holes, just to see what's on the other side.

When I was in middle school, I remember "chasing creeks" with my friend. We'd go deep into the woods behind my neighborhood, find a creek and run next to it as far as we could. Often, we'd come across a bigger pool or river or falls, and sometimes we'd jump in.

My creative practice is me doing that but on the internet lol.

Here are some of the creeks I've been chasing.

Memory Extraction

I've been doing this really fun exercise where I identify some kind of memory from my past and chase it down. It doesn't have to be some major moment, but just something that's stood the test of time.

It's been fun to just remember what I noticed and cared about over the years, but also to interrogate why.

I've studied shotguns, ferns, grillz, and traditional Chinese medicine through this exercise.

Making Dranks

One of the tangents that came from the Memory Extraction exercise was an exploration of the Schisandra Berry/Magnolia Berry/Omija. It's been widely used in East Asian medicines and cuisine, but I've never heard of it or tried it.

I bought some at H-Mart and started brewing it and playing around with recipes. It's a very unique flavor. It reminds me of rhubarb with the smell of oregano. It's very tart, slightly sweet, bitter and maybe even spicy?

My best recipe so far is a mix of honey syrup, fresh strawberry syrup, sparking water and the omija tea.

Designing

I've spent my whole career surrounded by and jealous of designers. The fact that they could have a thought and bring it to life is fucking amazing. It's a god-level skill, especially if you're good. Having had been surrounded by incredible talent like my friends Akoua, John, Andy, and more, I never wanted to even try. It frankly felt embarrassing. And I would not dare calling myself a designer and bring shame to my talented friends.

All that being said, I just said, "fuck it" and began playing. I started with my "business" Department of Anthropology. I put business in quotes because I feel like that title does it a disservice. It's more like my anthem.

Anyways, here are some designs I've actually made and liked. Maybe I'll be embarrassed by them in a few years, but fuck it, we ride.

I'll leave you with this quote:

“Your new life is going to cost you your old one.
It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense
of direction.
It’s going to cost you relationships and friends.
It’s going to cost you being liked and understood.
It doesn’t matter.
The people who are meant for you are going to meet you
on the other side. You’re going to build a new comfort
zone around the things that actually move you forward.
Instead of being liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of
being understood, you’re going to be seen.
All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you
no longer are.”
― Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery