I'm David – I make and write things to help people feel present.

Present vs Future: A Founder's Raw Update (and Why I Lost All My Code)

Hi, everyone! I hope you all are gearing up for the end of the year. As of this update, we have 26 days left in 2024.

Most years, I tend to do some kind of retrospective and planning for the year to come. If you've been following along, you know that I've been really focused on one thing: presence.

In doing so, I've been rejecting my old habit of thinking too far into the future and daydreaming about "what could be." This is true of PresentSelf AI, my job, and really most aspects of life. Instead, I've been really focused on what's in front of me, fully experiencing the range of emotions that come with today.

So, how does one think about and plan for the future while remaining present?

I don't have a good answer, but one thing I'm starting to grasp is that I don't need to "deposit" my current happiness within my future plans.

It's so easy to say, "Once I achieve this future goal, then I'll be happy." This is actually the fundamental principle of how many people plan. They delay feeling content/happy/satisfied to some distant moment in the future.

What if you can be fully content, satisfied, and grateful in the now and yet fully expectant of more in the future?

I'm not sure what it actually looks like to embody this idea, but I'm doing my damn best.

[Emotional State]

If I'm being honest, it's been a STRUGGLE the last several days building PresentSelf. I switched over from Claude to Cursor because I read this tweet thread about how much easier it is to code because Cursor can make real changes within your code files.

This is true, but it's a two-edged sword. Because Cursor has file control, it deleted some critical source code which set me back quite several days. I've not been able to successfully build the app in xCode in a few days, which is making me extremely nervous.

[Techinical State]

The nervousness brings me to the technical state of things.

In losing that source code earlier this week, I've basically been forced to refactor the entire app. I hope it's one of those things in a couple of weeks where I look back and think, "I'm lowkey glad it happened." But right now, it's the pits.

I addition to several days of rewriting the app, Cursor has been unresponsive for the last couple of hours. This is extremely concerning in that I don't really have another way to code it. Maybe I can try a different AI IDE?

I've mostly been working on getting Test Flight ready so that people can actually try out PresentSelf. I know it's not supposed to be easy, but really didn't expect it to take this long lol.

[Growth State]

I have not been able to spend enough time on growth/marketing with all the produce issues I've been facing.

I'm not sure if it's the lack of time to work on it or what, but I've been feeling a bit down about growth. I am feeling a lot of self-doubt about whether or not I have the growth chops to gain attention for this thing. This is really weird because it's one of the only things that I feel really deserves any attention.

I think I just need to get more practice and swings at bat.

Update // Build Log -4

Quick Update

Hi, y'all! As you can see, I've moved platforms and consolidated my "online presence" into this blog. It's mad old school, but I actually spent a lot of time thinking about the best way to organize my digital self and landed on this ancient technology.

Here are some quick hits on where I've been and what I've been up to:

• Went to Europe for two weeks and hit up Lisbon, Barcelona, London, and Paris and had a magical time. You can read up on my favorite bars here and my experience seeing god through architecture here.

• I've been on a bulk and have been focused on increasing strength and size. Slowly coming along.

• I started working on a new idea called PresentSelf AI, a self-reflection and breathwork app. It's been really fun to get into the deep end of iOS development (I know nothing) and an amazing journey into immersive work.
• I've been practicing this idea of presence, which has been incredibly powerful. I've revamped much of my work/thinking/content to revolve around it.
• We re-did our finances and budgeting and it's really changed my life in a good way. Knowing where every dollar is coming from and going and having a solid plan for different savings and investment goals is really cool.

Now, back to the regularly scheduled programming:

[Emotional State]

Coding is extremely frustrating. One thing works, and then another fails. Working through frustration is difficult for me. I feel a bit embarrassed and childish admitting that, but it's real. I'm grateful that I've been able to push through despite the frustration.

I'm still really bought into the power of this app and this idea of presence. I think we're collectively realizing that things will only continue to become more chaotic. There's no "returning" to normal (whatever that means), and because of this, I am sensing people are searching for ways to cope or, even better, evolve. Practicing presence is one way to evolve.

[Technical State]

I'm stuck in the firebase portion of the build right now. For some reason, it's been impossible for me to actually get this to work (which is a fucking huge part of the app if I want users, lol).

I can't get past the keychain permissions, no matter how many times I try. It's driving me fucking crazy.

If you're an iOS pro... please help.

[Growth State]

I started recording TikTok. None have taken off (yet). Is this like my sixth pass at TikTok content? At least this time, I know it takes time and a lot of experimentation to figure out a format that works.

I've also been sharing on Twitter. Nothing has really come of that other than it's been good to just brain-dump live there. It's more like a live-log of how I'm doing.

Build log - 3

[Emotional State]

Today, I'm in a much better place. As I work on this, I gain more clarity. The clarity is less around the specific features that I'm building or the marketing I'm doing but more on the way to integrate it all. More than mental clarity, it feels like emotional clarity. There's an unblocking happening. I'm not sure what's doing more "unblocking" the act of building PresentSelf or the act of being a PresentSelf user. I think they're one and the same.

I feel like I'm constantly thinking about this quote from Eckhart Tolle (also what inspired my post on presence)

“All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

The act of building pulls me into the present. Being present makes me momentarily unaware of the regret of the past and the unease of the future.

This is probably unhealthy and counterintuitive, but experiencing presence in this way underscores how miserable I used to be. Most of my days really were brainrot spiritrot – bookmarking Twitter threads, listening to podcasts about other people's success, dreaming about my "future." That shit fucks you up.

[Technical State]

I've gotten both morning and evening automation to work correctly. It seems so simple on the surface, but actually, getting data to map correctly is difficult.

I've also reconfigured the weekly analysis so that it's much simpler.

I think this week will be a good indicator of how everything is running.

There's a bit of a lag because I'm dogfooding my app. Every time I "refactor," it causes a delay on the actual user end, so things are a bit backed up. That's ok.

Insight.

I've been chewing on whether or not to make this an actual native app. I think I need to do a quick analysis of the MVP version to determine if it's working or not (maybe one more week of use), but then weigh the pros and cons of building an app.

The insight that's tipping me more into app territory is that I'm seeing more and more that the real power of PresentSelf is less the insights or AI portion and more the act/art of checking in.

In some ways, I feel like checking in is a portal into the present. That's the real magic. The problem is that it can be difficult to mentally/spiritually shift to get into a state of mind to check in.

Many people (including myself) do things like closing their eyes, breathing exercises, and other centering activities.

I think the next version of PresentSelf (especially if in an app form) will combine a pre-check-in activity (like a short breath exercise) with the check-in itself.

[Growth State]

I put out a TikTok yesterday. It didn't do any numbers, but it did help me to warm up.

I found this thread about Tiktok growth and am following the steps.

I created a new TikTok account and I'm warming it up over the next day or so.

I get confused as to whether I should be building a "founder-led" account or a "product-led" account. I think there are pros and cons to both. Maybe in the spirit of integration, I should go "founder-led".

I'm also working on a landing page via Framer. It's been an interesting learning curve. I like the out-of-the-box designs.

I've also been looking to acquire domain names. The ".ai" domains are insanely expensive. Thankfully presentself.ai is reasonable. I can't tell if that's a good sign or not 😂

Build Log - 2

[Name Update]

Present Self (?) Came up with a potential new name for the idea. I like it because there is both a .com URL and a .ai URL, which I'm seeing is increasingly rare. I think the name captures the essence of the idea and still leaves some room for play and intrigue.

[Emotional State]

I feel quite frustrated right now. I think it's because I'm feeling that constant "one step forward, two steps back" reality of building.

Here's the good news:

• I've rearchitected the entire database structure and have gotten the weekly analysis to work on dummy data
• I'm learning Make.com pretty well – it will be a useful skill no matter what

Here's where I'm annoyed/stuck:

• having to redo the entire daily logging scenarios. pre-annoyed at the thought that they won't actually sync well because it's trying to put data into a single row but based on when the log comes in – just writing it out feels like there'll be an error lol
• wondering if i need to just build this as an app, but i feel resistance to that as well. it only gets more complex as you build, I can get it to function in this simple state.

Here's what I feel resistance towards:

• marketing – I feel like I don't even really know how to approach the "content strategy" for this. Maybe I should just make a rough outline and start recording lol

Build Log - 1

I've been building Farsight (name TBD) since Oct 29, 2024. In 14 days, I've been able to make a really fucking simple version of it barely work. It's cobbled together with Twilio, Make.com, OpenAI and Airtable. I also have a pretty shitty landing page/waitlist created in Framer.

A reminder to myself that I'm building for an n=1, myself.

So far, the daily logging feature seems to be working. I get the daily sms prompts, and I actually enjoy responding. I'm not sure if it's more pride and eagerness because something I built actually functions, but there is something satisfying and centering about actually checking in.

I have to think about where I am energetically and assign a number. That action forces me to think about why I might be low or high. It's a simple task, but it sends a really high signal of how I'm experiencing that day.

Here's what's broken:

• Data capture and especially the data analysis.
  • My hypothesis is that chatgpt 4o is especially good at structuring unstructured data then analyzing it, but for some reason (mostly because I'm listening to Claude), I've been building the data to be very structured. I'm wondering if that's part of the problem.
  • The analysis itself is too complicated because we're ascribing too many tags to it. I get it. We want to create some kind of system of tags to get insights over time, but I'm not sure that it's working.

Right now, here's what we're doing:

1. Checking in in the morning with two questions:
   1. What is your energy 1-10?]
      1. Tag is a number, 1-10, associated with date, check-in time (morning), and anticipated activity
   2. What are you most looking forward to today?
      1. Tag is long text, unstructured, variable length, associated with date, check-in time (morning), and energy level
2. Checking in in the evening with three questions:
   1. What is your energy 1-10?
      1. Tag is a number, 1-10, associated with date, check-in time (morning), and highlight of the day
   2. What was the highlight of today? Why?
      1. Tag is long text, unstructured, variable length, associated with date, check-in time (evening), and energy level
3. Chat then takes these raw responses and runs them through a prompt that tags and sequences the response into a required JSON structure.

The issue is that our pre-selected tagging structure doesn't (and will never) perfectly capture the responses. There will be a surprise and delight moment on Saturday, where they will get to see a snapshot of how they were feeling that week, what they looked forward to, what went well, and what didn't. There may be

What does the end user really want? (even if they don't know it)

1. Most importantly, a "forced" moment to check in with themselves. A chance to be present in an ever-moving, ever-demanding reality.
2. Knowledge that their responses are being stored and will reappear in a helpful way down the line
3. There will be a surprise and delight moment on Saturday, where they will get to see a snapshot of how they were feeling that week, what they looked forward to, what went well, and what didn't. There may be interesting correlations between energy levels and anticipated events. What are all the correlations?
   1. AM energy <> Anticipated event
   2. PM energy <> high
   3. PM energy <> low
   4. Delta between AM energy and PM energy
   5. Was the anticipated event the highlight?
   6. What causes low energy relative to lowlights?
   7. What causes high energy relative to highlights/

The database needs to capture just the number and the raw text. I need to understand what data structure suits chapped the best for this sort of thing. I think I need to ask it to tell me what kind of insights it could first capture with these inputs, then ask it how the data needs to be structured and how the prompt needs to be structured to most optimally return clean insights.

Chat then takes these raw responses and runs them through a prompt that tags and sequences the response into a required JSON structure.

Then need to update the scenario to pull from this.

Other bugs:

• I've been running into issues with Make in that for some reason it's not pulling the raw daily data into the weekly insights. I may need to start over.
• Weekly insights scenario successfully runs but with no actual analysis – data is being incorrectly pulled or formatted somewhere in the scenario

Other considerations:

• the name. I first had the name for farsight in 2017. I think I like it because the story behind it is clever once you get the product, but there are just very little good domains associated with it. I feel like I should consider more literal names like "energycheckai" or something like that?
• marketing. I'm gaining more and more clarity around the marketing, and even just testing demand. I'm considering doing a tiktok test, where I literally just go on and "facilitate" check-ins via video. Something worth trying.

The gift of presence

I tweeted this out last night:

I think I'm learning this idea that the present is the only real thing we have. Even though I've heard Jesus say this idea countless times, it hasn't really hit me until today.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ^{26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.} Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" - Matthew 6:25-27

Without realizing it, I've let the shame and regret of the past and the burden of the future distract me from the present.

I'm spending all this time examining who I was, how I behaved, and my motivations. I'm toiling over what I want for the future and how to get there, and my days speed past me.

I fear that I may have taken introspection and retrospectives too far. My regretful past and my uncertain future have become my present. And it's why I feel mostly lost and miserable.

This obsession over what's been and what might be has created in me an uncertainty and an avoidance of the today.

I feel like I've been looking for this silver bullet insight or this cosmic opening within that would enlighten me and help me figure out what I should be doing today.

I realize that the enlightenment won't come like that. My gut tells me that it comes from experiencing today as fully as possible.

For me, this means doing things where I actually feel alive, where I feel time passing, where I see a small indication that this might help me or others around me, and where I see something that feels like it could grow into something. It came from being fully present in the work of today without any real care or burden of the past or the future.

I am who I am now.

I've felt a burden to present myself in a way that perfectly encapsulates my past, my present, and my hopes for the future. I needed to be packaged well so people could understand me and, therefore, hire me, validate me, or believe in me.

But it's impossible—not because the perfect packaging doesn't exist, but because it's not true. I need to show up as the person who's living in the now, in the flow, in the curiosity, not that, plus whatever it is I've done or haven't done yet.

It comes from stumbling around until I am doing something that makes sense to me.

It now makes sense why I have so many things going at the same time:

• Consulting/Freelance
• Tucker Today (local newsletter project)
• Youtube
• Farsight (AI/self-discovery idea)
• Day job (product marketer)

I've been telling myself that I'm exploring or trying things out (which at the time was true), but now some of them feel like distractions.

I actually feel, for the first time in my life, the best thing I can do is focus on what's giving me the most life and energy in a way that centers me into the present. Maybe that feels compulsive. Or aligned. Oddly satisfying even?

That's what Farsight feels like.

Farsight is a way for people to connect with their now. It's the wedge of presence. What greater gift could I give? I really fucking believe that.

Not only that, I feel alive when I'm building it. My natural inclination to self-sabotage with distraction and overthinking melts away.

It seems like the only signal I need to follow.

More to come.

Love Dave

The Official List of the Best Bars In Europe

I went to Europe for the first time in my life in October making me an expert in the European bar scene. I've compiled the places I drank and what I thought of them here. Enjoy irresponsibly.

#1: Two Shmucks, Barcelona, Spain

Accolades: #7 Best Bar in the World, 2022

Favorite Drink: The Mona Lisa – Mezcal, Watermelon, Kalamata Olives, Habanero, C02

Dave's Notes: Their 50 Best profile called them a "5-star dive bar," and I have to agree. The music (Action Bronson), the decor, and the staff were all so chill. Contrary to the signage, there was very little cunt-ish behavior – in fact the staff was very sweet. We went twice because it was so good.

The drink itself was incredible. It was both savory and just sweet enough. It reminded me of "Tomato Beef" from Viridian in Oakland, CA (thank you, Kayla and Justin, for the introduction to that drink). I could've had five more, easily.

#2: Paradiso, Barcelona, Spain

Accolades: #4 Best Bar in the World, 2024

Favorite Drink: Undecided (best bet is to go with friends and each get two to three cocktails and try everything on the menu)

Dave's Notes: Paradiso is definitely hyped, but I was entertained. It's in stark contrast to Two Shmucks in that it was definitely a show versus a low-key vibe, but I think there's something fun about the kitsch about it. The vessels themselves were odd; there was a specific way to drink them, and the menus were LED back-lit monstrosities, but it was fun.

#3: Bar De Vie, Paris, France

Accolades: Recently opened by the former Little Red Door head bartender and co-founder

Favorite Drink: The one on the left (below). I can't remember for the life of me what it was called, but they have 8-10 pre-batched cocktails (at least before they're fully open). They were all delicious, but I liked the one below. It was a whiskey-based drink - savory and malty.

Dave's Notes: Bar De Vie was recommended to us by our bartender at Experimental Social Club. It was also a 5-minute walk from our Airbnb. The co-owner, Alex, was so kind and welcoming. I even met his partner and some of their friends. I ended up going here three times and I drank the entire menu. It's very low-key (as of now), and I feel like right now is the sweet spot to get in before they blow up.

#4: Macallan room, Barcelona, Spain

Accolades: N/A

Favorite Drink: I thought the peanut-based drink was really fun here. It reminded me of "Misugaru," a Korean mixed-grain drink.

Dave's Notes: Macallan room is the speakeasy inside of Paradiso. We didn't know that it existed and only got in because one of the staff asked us if we were "open to an adventure." It's a super small space, nine of us total were invited in. All the drinks are based on Macallan scotch (hence the name), and they're all fun. I think the creative limitations of being scotch-focused helped refine the drinks. We met a couple from Thailand, a couple from LA, and a man from Germany. Also, the bartender was maybe the most handsome man we ever saw?

#5: Bar Nouveau, Paris, France

Accolades: #39 Best Bar in the World

Favorite Drink: The Ramos. Hands down.

Dave's Notes: Bar Nouveau is intimate and pretty romantic for having been an Irish pub in its previous life. Overall, the drinks here were really interesting and tightly executed. The Ramos was my favorite. It was like a fizz riser and the base was blended counterside. It was perfectly balanced – sweet, tangy, fucking refreshing. It is also served with a pearl spoon, so you don't miss a single bite.

#6: Uni, Lisbon, Portugal

Accolades: N/A

Favorite Drink: Undecided

Dave's Notes: Uni was really interesting. The entire bar was themed Dune, including the sponge-like ceiling, the drinking vessels, and the bartender's outfit. According to our bartender, each drink has 15-20 components, all made in-house. They definitely took pride in the process and created a really unique offering. If I'm being honest, it is impossible to taste more than three or four of the components, but the storytelling is fun. This is an extremely intimate bar with 9 seats total. You'll probably end up meeting a lot of tourists and having some interesting convos.

#7: Experimental Social Club, Paris, France

Accolades: N/A (but also must be said that it's like the OG of premium cocktails in Europe)

Favorite Drink: Bananarama. Self-explanatory.

Dave's Notes: I don't remember his name, but our bartender there was the sweetest man. He let us try some liquors that we'd never had before and gave us some amazing recommendations (a couple that have made it to this list). ESC is an OG in the Paris bar scene, and it felt that way too. It felt established but in a "drinking at your uncle's porch" type of way. It was unassuming and delicious. I loved it here.

#8: Red Frog Speakeasy, Lisbon, Portugal

Accolades: #94 Best Bar in the World

Favorite Drink: White Negroni.

Dave's Notes: This was a fun little speakeasy. It had a similar vibe to Paradiso in that the drinks came out in sometimes elaborate receptacles, but it didn't lean into the kitsch as much. You have to fully embrace the cringe in these situations.

If I'm being honest, the drinks were hit or miss. I didn't really love anything until the White Negroni.

If you're wondering, the blue garnish was picked ginger.

#9: Little Red Door, Paris, France

Accolades: #59 Best Bar in the World

Favorite Drink: N/A

Dave's Notes: I feel like I'll piss off a lot of Parisens (or maybe they'll agree with me lol), but Little Red Door felt a bit overhyped for me. The drinks and vibe were okay overall. I don't think I was blown away by any of them. I think they were trying really hard with their concept "Mirrors" (or was it Reflections) which basically was a menu of standard drinks and the Little Red Door version of it. I think concepts like that can be a nice creative boundary or, in the case of Little Red Door, something that feels like a forced experiment.

#10: Dr. Stravisnky, Barcelona, Spain

Accolades: #25 Best Bar in the World, 2019

Favorite Drink: N/A

Dave's Notes: We stumbled on Dr. Stravinsky on a night out. It was on our list but not necessarily a must-do. There was a small line, but we got in pretty quickly. The vibe is eccentric, maybe a bit circus-ey. The menu was really interesting. It basically made you pick one or a few flavor profiles and then "find" a drink that connected with those flavor profiles. I thought it was a fun concept, but the drinks didn't really land. I didn't even take any photos.

#11: Connaught Bar, London, U.K.

Accolades: #13 Best Bar in the World

Favorite Drink: N/A

Dave's Notes: This will definitely piss off some people, but I was pretty disappointed with the Connaught Bar. As a fucking fiend for martinis, I was really excited for this one. They do a table-side martini with house-made gin. The kick is that you pick your aromatics. They'll spray the bitters on a card that you choose. This might've been user error, but the aromatic I chose (tonka) just didn't go well with a Martini. Maybe my palate is underdeveloped, but it just didn't hit for me. It was unfortunate because it was such a bitch to actually get seating, lol.